Hey guys. I haven’t had a post in a bit because I haven’t had much to share. The past week or two I’ve been struggling with depression – which is no fucking excuse by the way. I don’t want or expect you guys to treat this like that’s okay. On top of that, I basically have one less workday during summer break because I’m helping my ex out by being a decent, non-pervert dad during the school break.
Anyhow, I’ve finished up a scene for a new Zheng Shi enemy – the slyveren slavebreaker. I’ve been trying to work on it again and again and never getting anywhere, but something finally clicked and I got it done. It’s 3700 words of a psychic snake-girl psychic you off extra hard so your little trapdick will grow to a respectable size. At the time of this writing, I’m also 1700 words into a blowjob for normal folks – that is to say anyone from 6+ to 35 inches long.
Anyhow, many <3’s and good evenings to you all.
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You do what you have to, man. Depression is no joke and encompasses so much more than a lot of people realize. It’s not just “feeling down” or “being sad”. Hope you start doing better or, if necessary, get the help needed to do so. Best wishes.
Forcing creativity is fucking hard sometimes. Sometimes I feel like it was easier to flip burgers while hating life than write good smut while feeling a bit down, but that’s probably just hindsight softening the suck a bit.
Depression….. I know how you feel man 🙁
Don’t sweat it Fen. You’re human these things happen.
fen is not human, hes some kinda cow-man-thing
That sounds like a rough time.
I find listening to music occasionally helps writers blocks. Sometimes one song will trigger an entire chapter or another will temporary unblock a drain clog in the brain.
But yeah forcing it generally bad, better to just take sometime to ones self when depression and writers block happen.
Hard when got responsabilities as a developer/writer. Bit it happens and mental health etc should always come first.
I know what it’s like bro I got Survivor’s guilt and life can be hell at times. Just take a deep breath, relax, let the emotion flow in a safe place where you can offload your built up baggage.
I mean, depression does kill your sex drive, doesn’t it?
It’s cool man. You can’t force your brain to just work. That’s why it’s depression and not just having an off day. You can’t logic it into being functional again.
I concur with what he said. You do what you have to fen. You can get through this.
I only just started pulling out of my decade long depression early last year, fucking hard to break the cycle. Once you find your key out, whatever it may be, life looks much brighter. You do you my dude, thank-you so much for all your work. Take all the time you need <3
Dude, resist the urge to hold yourself to an unreasonable standard. When you are sick, you need to recover. Depression is like shingles. It hurts like hell and is super hard to deal with, and if you let go uncontrolled, it can kill you. I don’t think anyone here thinks that you should be forced to work when you are sick. We are your fans and supporters, not some faceless money grubbing corporation. Always do what you can, but never force yourself to hurt yourself for the sake of other people.
> which is no fucking excuse by the way
yes it fucking is. Depression is serious, and even if it wasn’t a good excuse – which it is – we wouldn’t want lower quality work because you’re forcing yourself to do something. Take your time and take care of yourself and know that we love you even if we have to wait an extra week for new smut, the horror.
Seconded, and I’m glad most people posting here recognize that depression is a serious problem, and it can keep you from doing goddamn near anything and otherwise ruin your life. Take the time you need to deal with your problems and yourself, Fenoxo; we’ll still be here when you get back.
And if you haven’t talked to a therapist, think about it. Dead serious here. I’ve been seeing a therapist for my depression for more than two years now. It’s probably the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, and she’s helped me find ways to deal with it that I never would have thought of on my own.
Thirded. Although I do not know how it is affecting you right now, Fen, but I do know how it affected me and it. SUCKS. HARD. Even if you don’t *think* you need it, just be aware you can get help for it.
Hey it’s okay everyone has their low moments so don’t worry about it Fen.
you could literally fly to the moon for a month and you would still get money, might as well just do whatever you want
I’ve been loving your FREE games for a couple years now, having felt guilty on more than one occasion that I haven’t contributed anything yet, so I feel compelled to comment. Keep yourself to a certain standard of output, but don’t beat yourself up too hard when you can’t maintain it, even if there are people contributing monetarily. Getting burned out from forcing work on these games and all of life’s other hurdles I believe could harm the future of the games much more than missing a goal you had set yourself. I for one, even if I was a Patron, would only expect what you’re willing to do, and feel grateful for it. I don’t think you owe me anything, and any pressure you might feel from the community around your games is maybe less entitlement or expectation of promises, and more just excitement and anticipation for the new things that might be coming. Just wanted you to know I think COC is phenomenal and impressive, as well as TiTs, and will patiently follow along with what you do, if anything, in the future!
It’s ok fen we understand fen. As long as you keep yourself safe and alright take as much time as you need. I personally suffer from depression and know how hard it can to get things done. Just know we’re always here for you (and I’m sure the crew is too)
Hey. heeeeeey. Hey.. horse cock. : )
I hate to see you feeling down, I hope you know that your loving fans here will happily feel you up and be there for you. *hugs*
I get where you’re coming from my dude. My life has been at such a low point for years now. I’ve lost family and friends to death while having next to no one left. Sometimes I wonder what it is that motivates me to get up every morning. I do hope you get better though.
Hey man it’s cool. I’m sure we can handle going a bit without an update, depression is serious shit. Take your time and do what you need to be Fen.
I understand depression if you need to take a break because of it, take the break and we’ll be here to welcome you back with open arms (we may be lacking pants however).
Depression is indeed a decent excuse to have, so don’t worry about it.
It’s just not one you can pull all the time is all?
Anywho, I hope you feel better soon!
We are all cheerin for you.
“a blowjob for normal folks” What about women? Are women not normal folks? :< Do we get nothing?
No girls are weird. That’s why every female character in these games have a dick, to make them normal.
At first I accidentally read that as ‘Slytherin Slavebreaker’ and I thought that we were going to get some Harry Potter up in here! Lol!
Sorry to hear that you have depression. Writer’s block can happen to anyone but having depression makes it even worse.
Maybe take a break from writing and review submissions or do some project management and give more work to us volunteer coders.
I know that is easier said than done when you have depression. I just figure that would be easier than trying to break the writer’s block and would make you feel productive.
I normally never comment, but I wanted to echo the sentiments of others here and say if you are feeling sick, physically or mentally, taking some time off or slowing down is 100% justified.
Love your work, and hope you feel better soon.
can’t say much more that what others have already said.
Depression is really no joke so take whatever time you need to recover.
And you should talk with a therapist (or perhaps others who are/was dealing with it) about it if you haven’t already, while it probably won’t solve what you are dealing with, it does help to talk face to face(that bit is important) with someone else who have experience with it.
I dunno, i think anybody that’s had depression will tell you it’s a pretty damn valid reason for work not getting done. It’s hard being creative when you’re depressed. If nothing else there’s probably other things that need to get done than actively writing something. That being said, i can respect your work ethic. This, just like any other profession, is your job.
I hope you can work past your depression, though depending on what issues are causing it it might be one of those that lingers in the background. I’ll raise a glass to your health later.
A psychic snake girl who makes a trapdick grow to a respectable size? Huh.
This’ll be interesting. I usually go with a compact size; I didn’t imagine it had to be the size of a tree trunk to be respectable. 😛
Then again, perhaps I’m not one to talk. Whenever I’m given a choice, I choose the curviest, most ample form for the ladies. Anno is Thicc Anno, Bess’ settings are at max and Gianna is pumped full of silicone. That gives a perspective.
Dude, don’t worry about it. Do what is healthy for you. Spend time with your kid. Your health and this time with your kid is way, way, way more important than space bewbs.
Just look after yourself.
Wheres the bad End for the Jumpers ;D? also I understand the depression but you can pull through it Fen i am not a doctor or anything but as a person who deals with depression as well I understand how you feel but dont worry you can pull through It!
It’s on his pile, that’s all that can be said :þ
Fam, depression is a completely viable excuse. Just a few weeks ago I was essentially gaslighting myself, and became dangerously close to genuinely questioning my own sanity. I know how bad it is, and forcing yourself through it will only make it worse. My advice? Find somebody you trust, and talk to them. The linger you keep this shit bottled up, the worst it’s gonna get.
We got your back Your Fen-ness. Take care of you first.
Hang in there Fen, depression sucks and I hope you will feel better soon.
As someone whose tried offing himself twice and is starting his own universe and what not. I absolutely say you should take some time off if you need to. One look at the news will tell you how bad depression has gotten these days and it isn’t something you can just overpower, its a struggle and is something your patient fans can wait on, keep being healthy content creator
Depression has already taken three close friends, one brother in arms, and almost took my wife. I understand how you feel and just know that, like the others before have said, we back you all the way. Take the time to heal and get “good and right” again.
Hey, sorry you’ve been feeling depressed. I’ve dealt with a hand full of suicide cases, and it’s not a good place to be; here’s hoping that you, the team, or the community does not reach that point. Here, we’ve got more than just what you put out that keeps us together. It’s our passion for the lewd and the happiness that we can share it without being judged. A happy circle jerk.
We’ve got your back Fen.
~Depho
I was bullied unmercifully at an extremely small private school of about 100 kids while my parents and teachers looked past their children’s bad behavior. Made fun of me for everything they could find including my mixed race (it was dominately white in a rich county.) Suffered from depression ever since. Learned to pick up most of the pieces from therapy, but it still seems so hard to think of anything good coming from the next day. But life goes on whether I wanted it to or not, and I try to take things a day at a time. All we can do. Best of luck Fen
2 things
6 to 35 inches is normal?
God science has advanced
And yo man
If you need a lil bit for yourself its cool.
You’re making a lot of content with…. 5 people? Idk i haven’t paid attention last couple months for my own reasons unfortunately.
I dont preorder from my favorite AAA major game companies yet i support you so….
That’s how awesome ya are.
Just keep on being you and all will work out.
Amen
I suffer from clinical depression and boy do I get it. Sometimes you have to bully yourself but sometimes it’s okay to just take it easy. You work really hard and you’re doing great man. Don’t push yourself. You have a great audience who I’m sure will be okay with waiting a little longer for your quality.
Depression is a hungry dog, no matter how many times you chase it away or feed it, it comes back for more of your life. I’ve been dealing with a great deal of depression myself. In fact, a scammer stole 500 dollars worth of stuff from my Steam account and Steam couldn’t give a fuck. Life can be painfully apathetic at times, but feel free to vent to us. A caring ear is worth the effort to tell someone. During this painful time in my life, I’m probably going to play your game to take my cares away. If you ever want to talk, you have this wonderful community to lean on. I’ll be here at least. Stay Strong Fenfen, we can make it, no matter what shit is piled on our plate.
Please take care. Don’t force things or burn out. Delagate & let others help write or do some of the heavy lifting.
Fen, we know you aren’t one to make excuses but depression is an extremely valid reason why you’re not putting out the amount of content you want to. I’d suggest taking a few days to chill and do things that ease it. Work at a level/pace you feel you can handle right now, even if it’s none. Don’t hold yourself to an insane standard and try and put too much on your plate. When you’re feeling up to it, and only when you are feeling up to it should you try to get back to work and even then you should ease yourself at a slow pace. Regardless of anything going on with the game or the site I’m praying for you man, hope you feel better.
Lack of productivity from depression isn’t an excuse, it’s a perfectly acceptable reason. It even has a name: executive dysfunction. A depressed brain is literally disabled and it can be an immense struggle to make even a little bit of progress, but it’s still a victory regardless. I struggle with depression myself and know exactly what you’re going through. Don’t make yourself feel bad for getting little done.
I get depressed when I eat home style waffles, like debilitatingly depressed, want to die hate myself waffle depression. I honestly have no idea why. Buttermilk waffles don’t cause this, nor do pancakes.
My friend believes it may be because I was Belgian in a past life and am suffering from reincarnation PTSD. It makes a lot more sense than “waffles make me sad because my brain is stupid”.
Don’t ever think that depression isn’t an excuse. If you need a break because of depression then take one. You do not owe us an explanation or anything but taking a break and talking it with someone you trust can help. It helped me alot. Just take care of yourself and get better so we can have more of your awesome content for all these games.
Ouch! Having been diagnosed with bipolar disorder I know what that’s like Fen… Anyway, don’t let pride keep you from looking at the bigger picture as a top priority when you’re depressed, human beings tend to get things done less efficiently when their hearts just aren’t quite in it anyway yea? I can’t speak for everyone here but in my opinion you’re not neglecting a thing — all things considered. Sooooooo…… ‘think I’ve said more than plenty on this matter, but I hope it was of some help to you all the same; hang in there champ (no pun intended) we’re all rooting for you to feel better real soon!
Depression sucks, but that is no reason to get down on being a pervy dad. I know plenty of strippers who had pervy dads and they turned out really hot and make lots of money. Especially lots of my money. Anyway, feel better.
Do not work when you are not feeling well. Depression is a serious mental illness and just like every illness it makes life even more difficult and exhausting. So dare you fucking excusing yourself for being ill. You didn’t ask for it.
Everyone here is thankful for your work. So do your fans, crewmembers and friends a favor and take your time to regenerate; a good idea in CoC, an even better choice in life. And when you are ready, you come back and pick up where you left. Everyone here believes in you. Everyone against you is just a fake. Simple as that.
Get well soon 🙂
PS: It’s funny that a bunch of weirdos are as emphatic, understanding and loveable as this xD
Fen it’s alright if your having some off days. Its not like you don’t have others that are working on Tits as well. If you need to take a day off or so to recharge doing things you enjoy the most.
I dunno if it’s any consolation at all, but it seems like many other content creators, in some shape or form, are also having a hard time putting out said content. So you aren’t exactly alone in feeling depressed these days. I feel like it kinda gets to everyone at some point, no matter who you are.
Either way, someone who has had it right here. I do hope you’ll be alright, and if you gotta take a step back for a bit, do so. In my experience, just ignoring it and pushing on with the same stuff, the same routine just makes it worse.
I dunno about where you live, but where I am there’s a bunch of summer events and a great food scene. I had a great day heading out and exploring a bit, and trying out good food. Maybe just find something to break up the routine?
Wish you the best.
Fenx if you need someone to talk to about depression I’ll happily be here for you. You are a great game developer.
Taking all bets, what illness will Fen have next month? special odds on tonsillitis.
I dunno man, I’d say a wicked bout of depression is plenty of excuse for a lag in production and creativity. To think otherwise would be like saying a twisted ankle is no excuse for not finishing a marathon.